“It’s like you lot don’t take all this seriously.” DEATH, who for now had stopped basking having sensed an opportunity for righteous indignation, waved his arms around his head to try and emphasise the ‘all this’. His point was undermined with some significance by the dual facts that they were still surrounded by nothing and that they all knew he was completely full of shit.
“Stop being mean. You’re being mean.” LIFE tried to adopt a face that demonstrated that she was ever so cross, just like a grown up might be. However, due to the angelic angles of her cheekbones, she just looked like she was halfway through a tricky trip to the toilet.
SPACE, aware that any argument between LIFE and DEATH only ever led to situations of explosive volatility and staggering futility, tried to move the focus of the group forwards.
“Look, I am very sorry for my little outburst just now. It caught me by surprise is all.” SPACE addressed TIME directly. TIME replied with a slight smile, but kept it hidden behind his scruffy beard, just in case.
“And actually” continued LIFE, “the more I think about it, the more it makes quite a lot of sense.” Despite DEATH’s incredulous facial hue, LIFE continued on with the confidence of someone that had a well considered plan, although of course, she didn’t.
“Really, I think it’s quite clever.” SPACE continued to ignore DEATH, who was clearly reaching incandescence, having had the opportunity to play the rare ‘superiority yet victim’ card snatched away from them, all because SPACE was trying to retain the balance. TIME allowed his smile to gingerly peak through his snowy whiskers. LIFE went back to her belly-button fluff.
“Think about it. Not only is time not precisely straight, it is also very confusing and chaotic. But a little entropy never hurts…”
“I was NOT being mean.” DEATH broke in, not quite ready to let the chance of a good argument slip away.
“Yes you were actually.” LIFE replied quickly, her words didn’t sting as much as the fact that she didn’t even look up from her fluff.
“I fucking wasn’t. Listen. Time is straight. One direction. Time is a line. It even rhymes.”
“It doesn’t.” LIFE was beginning to enjoy herself immensely.
“Never-mind what bloody rhymes or not. I can’t be arsed with you lot!”
“That does rhyme.”
“I don’t fucking care!” DEATH slumped back in his chair.
“Poor old TIME… LIFE will you stop that! You’ve made us all speak in poetry! Beautiful but annoying. You even made the scribe do it and that’s not on. There are no walls in a black hole, not even fourth walls!” SPACE had had enough, they needed to refocus.
“Sorry.” LIFE let the fluff fall from her hands. “Am I really beautiful?”
DEATH used the subsequent moment of silence to formulate a new line of attack. Arguing with LIFE never achieved anything. They needed each other and he knew that. But this current situation, having to sit here wasting time being patronised, that wasn’t LIFE’s fault. He turned his attention to SPACE.
“Can’t you use simpler words!” He hadn’t moved, but his eyes were jammed towards SPACE.
“‘Entropy never hurts…’ you don’t mean entropy - you mean mayhem! And I don’t fucking trust that guy. He’s got shifty eyes and I never know when he’s going to show up. His daughter spends too much time with mine - I don’t like it. Don’t bring fucking mayhem into this!”
He leaned forward and placed his arms on the table in front of him, the fireflies scattered higher up, away from the table casting longer shadows under DEATH’s eyes.
“It’s bloody simple right. You always want to over-fucking-complicate matters. People get born - thank you Princess - they get a bit of time, in some space and they try to squeeze as much out of their little lives a possible. Then they’re mine. Straight line, A to B. No need for anything fancy or complex. No mayhem, no entropy. Easy-fucking-peasey. We don’t need entropy, we need… untropy.”
LIFE, who had been listening intently thought she had had a very clever idea. Words weren’t going to do the trick so she beckoned the fireflies towards her and they landed in her palms. She closed her hands gently together, engulfing them all in a thick blanket of dark and silence.
“There had better be a fucking cake coming…”
LIFE bent her face towards her hands and whispered gently. She opened her small palms upwards and shining lights of orange, gold and blue pulsed outwards, filling the vast cavern with warmth. LIFE was left holding a small butterfly, gently flicking its wings as it bimbled up her delicate wrist.
“Chaos means beauty.” She was looking into DEATH’s tired and bloodshot eyes. She was trying (failing) to communicate peace through her gaze.
“I didn’t plan these little wings, didn’t order them in any way. But they are beautiful. Look.” She gently lifted her forearm upwards and the butterfly took off, flapping his tiny wings as if it was part of a slick samba rhythm. DEATH watched closely as the newly created butterfly danced the short distance towards him.
DEATH saw the wings, looked at them closely for a second as the butterfly hung in the air before him. He took in the intricate markings, saw how the unique mix of colours swished and mixed with each other across the spans. Voluptuous blues became warm oranges which morphed into shining gold. The wings looked as though they would comfort you just as a well-loved blanket on a freezing morning might. DEATH watched the playful flap of wings, inviting him to just let go, to sink in to the warmth of the unknown, to revel in the unplanned mastery of it.
“BOLLOCKS!”
DEATH slammed his hammy fists around the butterfly in a great fat clap. He opened his porky trotters and out stumbled a bone white moth. It kamikazied its way upwards from DEATH’s hand and landed on his shoulder, sitting motionless.
“Let’s just make this fucking simple shall we? Life. Death. A point in time. A place in space. No more experiments, not more complications. We can all get back to work and do our jobs.”
As has been previously noted, DEATH likes things definitive; everything boxed up neatly and tightly. If that box can be placed in the ground, all the better for it.
“This isn’t working.” SPACE had been watching LIFE and DEATH swap insect-based metaphors, hoping it would resolve things a little, but now more drastic action was required.
“I agree.” TIME saw a way out of this awkward predicament, keen to get as far away from his recent embarrassment as possible.
“Will you do the honours my lady?” He smiled at SPACE, his frosted face-fuzz letting the smile all the way out this time.
“With pleasure” LIFE snapped her fingers.
A bright white light obliterated the darkness, blinding the four of them momentarily while the roar of rushing water shook their insides about like a novice cocktail maker. The light and the noise came and went in an instant.
The four colleagues were now standing at the top of a great hill covered in long grass under the shining silver of a full moon.
Before them stretched a great plain, pulled taught across the landscape before rising into distant snow capped mountains, purple in the starlight. They could see several huge fires burning in the middle of the plain and the distant echo of raucous, slurred song carried up on the air towards them. DEATH smiled.
“Now we’re talking!” Triumphant and yet completely unaware he was about to endure multiple points being made in his direction.
The four started to walk down the hillside towards the burning pyres, but they all stopped in their tracks immediately.
Now, as I am sure you can guess, there isn’t a great deal that these four have not seen or experienced between them. In a very literal sense, they have covered absolutely everything that has ever happened, anywhere, across multiple lifetimes, ages and universes. So it takes something quite special to surprise them.
The presence of a green, 1996 Fiat Punto (one careful owner, slightly troublesome glove compartment) on a hilltop in Scandinavia in the year 1024 certainly did the trick.
I just wanted to say your haiku made my heart 💔 a little. Beautiful.
Wow! Thank you so much for the mention! 🙏